So I went to the America Got Talent auditions. Originally I was not going to go though my friend Susan the clown was adamant in going and asked me to go with her. So I thought I have nothing else going on today, why not.
We got in the line at Jacob Javitts Center around noon. It was cold outside and felt like early October with the Grey/dreary skies. Already there were thousands of people lined up and wrapped around the entire place.The line started moving about an hour and a half after we got our spot. Finally the line started moving and just to bring us to another line downstairs by the parking lot and bus stops, still being outside.
Finally after another 3 hours, the PA came around and gave us our stickers and numbers to go with our forms. Eventually after another hour, we actually got inside where yet again another line in an "S" formation was formed.
This last line was for registration. So you would think you were good to go after that. Not the case. After you got registered, then you had to go through another security person and down the escalators to the "holding area" where over 1000 people were dwelling and waiting.
I saw a fellow background actor there and he said he was there since 10am and still didn't get seen until 6pm! So that being said, Susan and I found a spot to sit down and wait. Susan knew this Woman there, Vickie who she did some clown work within the past.
I plopped down on the ground and didn't even care how dirty the floor was as I was SO tired from standing all that time. Meanwhile Susan, who was in full clown gear, was entertaining young kids and making "balloon animals" for them.
There were groups of people strewn all over that room. They had tons of musicians. In fact I think the majority of entertainers were singer/songwriter acts. Other than that there were a few dance troops, magicians and child prodigies.
After waiting in the main room for several hours, out numbers were finally called. I thought I may have a slight chance as I was dressed up as a Gypsy, and I was prepared to do a musical comedy act which I thought would make me stand out. SO not the case.
Once the guy came on the bullhorn and read out the numbers we were called to wait in another line-up and they mixed singers with magicians and dancers. There was no designated judge for different talents.
When it was finally our turn to head out to the audition rooms, there were a group of chairs alongside the wall by a door where we would eventually audition. The chairs were set there for a reason as it would be over another hour wait. The P.A. We had was nice enough to tell us that if they like you, they will keep you in the room for over ten minutes. If they don't you’re done in seconds.
As were sitting there, the camera people came up to us and asked us if "We were nervous going into the audition"? I replied, "After waiting a thousand hours, I am SO numb, I have no nerves left!"
Finally my name gets called, and I go into the room. You walk into this huge room where there are only 3 people there. One is the camera man, one judge, and another P.A. They have the camera ready and ask you to stand on the black tape marked "X".
Behind you is a huge wallpaper of the "America's Got Talent" poster. The judge tells you to say your name and what act you are about to perform. I state my name and begin into song. I got zero reaction so immediately I went into another bit. Within seconds my fate was determined as I heard the big "NO"! The worst part really was the fact that this bitch of a judge yawned while I was performing.
While I was performing, I saw her yawn, and you try to ignore it but it does get to you and immediately I lost all confidence and basically sabotaged my act when I saw the yawn. So that was the end of that. I stormed out of the room, and then my friend Susan was called in to go next.
Though the judge that had just destroyed my confidence decided to take a bathroom break right after me and left Susan the clown waiting around for another half hour before she was actually called in to come into the room.
Finally Susan was called in, all decked out in her clown costume with props, baboons and gags. My friend Susan does "clowning" for a living, so she is pretty good at what she does. That didn't matter. Seconds later she came out of the door, really upset. The worst sight I ever seen is a clown cry. It really is sad.
So that was the end of it. Susan was really devastated as was I. At least I knew that I could go back to Astoria to the local pub and bitch and complain to people while having a few beers. Susan really was looking forward to this and her spirit was really crushed.
As we were leaving the building, several of the kids that she made balloon animals earlier on for, asked her how she did. These kids were upset for her. She brought so much joy to these kids, and she was not a happy clown at this point.
I was not a happy camper either. Though I should have known better not to go at all to an audition of this nature. In some ways it was worse than Last Comic Standing. At least this was not a overnight lineup and I only wasted 10 hours of my time as opposed to 20 hours! Still it's the same miserable game.
How can a P.A. or a segment producer determine my fate or if I have any talent?? This is just another show that is clearly looking for the "entertainment" value for ratings. It’s about “Cashing in”. Ka-Ching! Isn't that what it is always about?? The title of this show and many other reality shows should be Americas got Capitalism!
CA
